Snow Is Coming: A Southerner’s Official Survival Guide
When snow is mentioned in the South, it’s not a forecast. It’s a full-scale lifestyle adjustment . Somewhere, a weatherman casually says, “There might be a chance of snow,” and within minutes, the South responds like a hurricane is forming offshore. Step One: Panic-Buy the Essentials (You Know the Ones) No one knows why milk, bread, and eggs are required to survive snow, but history has proven this is non-negotiable. Even people who are lactose intolerant suddenly think, “We might need two gallons.” The grocery store shelves empty faster than a church potluck line when fried chicken hits the table. If you see someone guarding the last loaf of white bread, mind your business . Step Two: Fill Up Everything That Has Ever Burned Gas Cars? Yes. Trucks? Absolutely. ATV? Might as well. Boat? Why not. Southerners believe snow can sense a low fuel gauge from three counties away. Nobody wants to be the person saying, “I should’ve filled up,” while starin...