So, one day you wake up and realize you're almost 50. You look at your parents and suddenly realize you can remember as a child when they reached that milestone. Its funny how you begin having self talk the older you get. I've been asking myself the question..."are you really that old" or "has anything changed".... and maybe "have you accomplished all the things in life what you have wanted."
A friend jokingly told me I was finally entering middle age. Quickly I did the math and realized that that happened about 10 years ago. So, I sit here quietly in my study at home trying to process this milestone...this number that everyone has been joking about with me for the last 12 months.
So, to answer the questions I have been asking myself; yes I'm really almost 50. Nothing has really changed since last year this time, however a lot has changed since I was 40. Seeing a change over a decade does make you realize change does occur. But all change isn't all that bad. For instance, I've dated and lived with the same woman for 33 years. Together, we have changed...in so many ways. When I think back to the 17 year old high school student who looked at Elizabeth Sharp, a sweet little 16 year old....I thought I was in love. Boy does time make you realize what love really is.
So, has anything changed. Boy yes! So many things. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, the love I have developed has grown into a word that four letters in 1984 couldn't comprehend. What else? Patience has matured as I've gotten older. Raising children into adulthood, starting a business at age 24 (and continuing that business for 26 years) and having so many emotional and economic ups and downs. All these things make the fabric that a person is made of. It makes you stronger
And the last question; have I accomplished all in life I wanted. Risking sounding over confident, the answer is pretty much yes. I have a four person family who loves Christ as their savior. That's amazing. God gave me the will, insight and determination to find my wife's birthmother. It took me 2 1/2 years, but it brought her together with her past and gave her a bond with brothers and sisters that otherwise would have never happen. That's a great wow moment in our marriage and life together. I have travel to so many places (with Elizabeth) and seen parts of the world I use to dream about. I have friends in my life who have been with me during those emotional and economic times....yet their friendship was like a shade tree with evergreen leaves.
Yes I'm 50. It bothered me at first, but then I realized how full my glass has been filled. I have drank from this glass so many times, yet God continues to fill back to the brim. I'm satisfied with my accomplishments, but stand ready to broaden my dreams, reach for new heights and prepared for what the future holds (If you know my children's age, you can only imagine what that is.)
So, 50...whats the big deal?
Kyle
