Don’t always go with your expectations!

Expectations sometimes show up because of years of mis-thought.

Recently, I was invited to speak on behalf of the National Auctioneers Association in Boston. It was the New England Auctioneers Association. As I prepared for the weekend event, the thought entered my mind, “how would these New Englanders welcome a southerner. I had never visited the Boston area and was coming with a few preconceived notions. As a southerner, we pride ourselves on being gentil (or at least we think we are). Maybe even a little more patient than the folks in cities like Boston who apply the horn a little more often than we do down south. In fact, if you visit my hometown and are from the northeast, you would probably begin to ask yourself, “why does every car driver wave at me”. It’s the truth, we wave at strangers driving in the opposite direction. I guess its just a kind gesture of recognition or maybe not wanting to be perceived as stuck up.

So, Elizabeth and I landed at Logan airport. I made my way to National Car Rental. The red head behind the desk was seated very close to the corner of her kiosk next to the competition. I asked “Is this National?” She replied, “you see the green don’t you?”.  I said to myself, “oh boy, my preconceived notions are coming true”.  So we got into our little bitty compact, and I mean compact vehicle that would probably fit into the bed of my Duramax, and began to drive. We entered the first tunnel that was probably 5 lanes wide and found ourselves in the wrong lane. I thought to myself, these people will never let me into the right lane, but lo and behold, they did. I even got a smile and a wave.

We visited the Kennedy Museum that day and enjoyed raw oysters at Union Oyster Bar. The shucker (shucka) was amazing. We had a great conversation. I even caught myself saying “Lob sta” and “butta” . But don’t ask for saltines with your Oysters….. they don’t eat’em that way.

We made that first night to our destination and I reviewed my Power Point for the presentation I would be giving the next day. I was more anxious about my accent than I was about the content. The next day, I was greeted by one of the leaders, Nichole Pirro. We had never met, but quickly we made friendship.  Then I ran into Sara Adams who originally invited me. She too made for quick friendship. I told Elizabeth, I really like these guys. Then Michael Chambers,  who I competed against in the International Auctioneer Championship a fews years back came in a greeted me. Then I began to feel right at home!

I gave my two hour presentation and felt warmly received. In fact I think we all had fun! Granted, I had to translate a few of my words, all in all, I thought it went great. We all had auctioneering in common, but on a human level, I realized that territorial prejudices probably exist because of the lack of communication. Don’t get me wrong…I’m not saying I was prejudice against New Englanders, but I didn’t expect such a friendly group. A few of us enjoyed a late afternoon dinner at a pub in Salem, Massachusetts. It was a great way to end a weekend with new friends. The great thing is, Elizabeth and I have new friends and we love New England. Now don’t get me wrong, I still think they talk a little funny, but heck, one of the people in my presentation used the word “hick” in referring to my southern dialect.

In this world of tribalism as the political pundits call it, our trip reinforced in my heart that we are one great bid country filled with unique and good people. We are Americans. The only thing that separates us is a few miles and a few rivers. Accents and heck, even political views should not keep us from finding value in each other.

How We View Our Historic Enemies. How a German Cemetery Changed Me.

A Visit To La Cambe German War Cemetery

In 2012, our family decided to travel to Paris and then be transported to Normandy, the site of incredible American drama. It was on the shores of the famed D-Day beach called Utah, where we placed a photo of Frank Couch, an American purple heart recipient who wore German delivered shrapnel in his body until he was laid to rest in the sloped cemetery of Jericho Church of Christ in Mocksville, NC.

On this trip, internal patriotism was pounding in our chest. We visited the St. James Cemetery and listened to the chimes of the church bells as we surveyed the crosses and stars of David in rows upon rows. Later, tears accrued upon each of our cheeks as we visited the Colleville-sur-Mer cemetery where 9,387 American souls are buried. An insignificant bluff overlooking Omaha beach made significant by heroes who were born there by their blood and where the future of so many young American’s ended.  As an American, the emotions are hard to describe. 

We had hired a tour guide for the entire experience.  He took us to the Ranger made famous cliff called Point du Hoc.  At the top of the 100 feet cliff was a German army fortification with concrete casemates and gun pits.

As we left these two metes and bounds of American death and victory, our tour guide took us to La Cambe German war cemetery. When he told us, we were going to a German cemetery, I quietly asked myself “why”. 

When we left the vehicle and entered the grounds, it was quiet. There was a monument on a great mound and statue honoring the dead of German soldiers; soldiers that killed and wounded American soldiers. We walked

Located in Bayeux, France. Contains in excess of 21,000 German military personnel of World War II,  maintained and managed by the German War Graves Commission.

silently down the rows just as we did at Colleville-sur-Mer. A transformation of thought came over me as I thought about these German soldiers, some Nazis, others who were simple soldiers like my good friend Frank, loyal to the Motherland. Emotions of hate, anger, and bitterness began to soften. It was divine what the Allies accomplish, not only for the interned Jews, but the entire world from future tyranny.  

The experience created in my heart a clearer understanding of history and the players in it. History, like a moment in time, is concreted in the past. It is typically not black and white. It is complex, layered with many narratives and ideologies. This visit unpeeled a layer for me.

I didn’t celebrate the statues or grave markers as I left La Cambe German war cemetery, but I did leave with a perspective of looking through the eyes of a common German soldier. I’m glad we took this detour of the American path to victory! The German soldier’s life and history are concreted in this cemetery; they served a lost cause, they served wrong cause.

PS: to be clear, what the collective German Army did to the Jewish population was beyond terrible. Please don't read into this any endorsement of their cause whatsoever. 

Are you listening to me, I said NO

The Answer is NO

There are many reasons to go to church, most importantly to give God his glory. But every now and then, you hear things, you learn things that have an impact on your life. Today was one of them.

A Morrison Bible fellowship friend, Gary Baldwin quoted a past pastor by the Name of Mark Corts, former pastor of Calvary Baptist Church who said, “I challenge you to say “No” to something at least once a day”. Later in the afternoon, I began to think about that profound idea. We live in a luxurious society where “yes” is preached to us constantly. “Yes” you need a better car, “yes” you need a larger house, “yes” you need those designer clothes, “yes” you need the iPhone X (guilty, kind of, I have the 8). All of those things are good, but so often we turn good things into bad things. Just look at our waist lines.

 “Yes” is certainly important as I’m glad my wife said it to me many years ago. But think about the times we said “Yes” in our life and the consequences that followed them. Consider the internal moments we’ve wanted to fight with our spouse, and the moment we said “Yes. I’m going to release those angry words” ….if only we’d said “No”. I thought about the many times I have said “Yes” when I should have said “No’. It made me think of the trajectory that the word “Yes” has the ability to make. Simple decisions that five years down the road you wish you’d said “No”. 

 
It’s all about self discipline!

The Exercise of saying “No” is something I’m going to consciously attempt to reflect on this week. If nothing else, the practice will at least make me stand at the cross road of decision and make a slow wise choice. Who knows, I might even lose 10 pounds.

The power to direct, delight or destroy!

Jerry Morrison summed up a powerful message about the tongue! I fall short very often. However, I hope that when people hear my name, or your name, they think positive things rather than words like sarcastic, self centered talker, etc. Listen to what Jerry has to say about the part of your body that offers life or death.

Travel decisions....

Robert Frost wrote about travel. In his most famous piece, “Road not taken”, he ended by saying “I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”


Writing this on Delta getting ready to leave a conference I attended in Jacksonville, FL, my mind is fast forwarding to another jet I’ll be boarding this next Wednesday.  I have traveled many places and I can say they were fun. Some more exciting than others. But like Frost, this Wednesday I’ll be traveling down a road that is not traveled so much. Unlike the crowded beaches of the east coast (which I dearly love) or even the Appalachian Mountains that I sit at the base of in the foothills, Montana takes me to a place of solitude that has made all the difference to me. Waking up at the base of the Elkhorn Mountains lookin up at its 9000 feet summits, then looking to the river that Lewis & Clark traversed years after Jefferson said Go West to watching the eagle soar along the banks of long written about rivers.

What is it about the quiet fall of the waters on the Missouri with canyons on each side of your boat enveloping you physically and even spiritually as you realize that only a divine creator could use his brush strokes to make something so significant. It’s hard to describe how the snow-melt waters of the Dearborn River intersect with the might MO. While this road has taken me to a peaceful place over and over, the excitement that comes with a fly line that goes from needing mending to briskly leaving your float boat with the amazing colorful rainbow or brown on the end of your line.

Montana is less traveled than the average place to vacation. But the views, the waters, the mountains, and the friends Ive made have made all the difference. So with a sigh, as I prepare to go back to Montana, I can say, this incredible state “has made all the difference” to me.

It was very quiet

The power of quiet!

I have often heard in church “Be still and know that I am God”.

As an extrovert who is charged by activity, being still is probably one of the hardest things to accomplish. But this morning, in the quiet of a Charleston, SC hotel, I sat on an chase lounge, and from about 5:45-6:30 am, I didn’t turn on the TV, I didn’t hear text messages beeping, and there was little to no traffic noise outside. Elizabeth was in dreamland and I just sat there quietly and silently spoke to myself and heard the quietness of God in the room.

All is quiet

Our generation probably more than any other, is challenged with noise: good and bad. Our phones are glued to our bodies. They are used for talking, listening to music, books and etc. We are addicted to TV. We proudly talk about binge watching Netflix shows. When we wake, we turn on the news. As we get in our vehicles, we turn on the radio. But this morning, the soundtrack of my life was simply silence.

Meditation? I don’t know. I just sat there. But the experience seemed to help me organize all of my priorities into an orderly list. It was as though life was in slow motion. And for a guy who seems to be in pretty fast motion everyday…..it was good.

I might have found something here. The sound of silence.

Thomas Jefferson Randolph....right here in Davie County!!

Thomas Jefferson was 6'2'. Jeff towered over me.

Since we sold the estate of Andre the Giant in Ellerbe, North Carolina, I thought that would be our celebrity of the decade transaction. But recently Ashton & Elizabeth  took a conventional listing call. The usual took place, comp searches, sharing of our marketing plan, etc. Everything was typical until Elizabeth asked the client to give her his full name. He said, sure, Thomas Jefferson Randolph VIII. She kept writing and said, Thomas Jefferson....the eighth?? He said yes, I am the 8^th descendant from Thomas Jefferson. By the way…. You can call him “Jeff."

America's third president, Thomas Jefferson married Martha Skelton and of their six children only two girls made it to adulthood. Their first born child was Martha Jefferson who later married Thomas Mann Randolph. 8 generations down the line enters Thomas Jefferson “Jeff” Randolph.

Thomas Jefferson

Martha Jefferson

Jeff is selling his house in Davie County, NC to serve a church in South Carolina. He and his wife Sarah have a beautiful baby girl named Lydia.

If you know me, you’ll know I love history. So meeting Jeff and Sarah was really neat. Ironically, Elizabeth and I had just visited Monticello this past fall so Elizabeth and Jeff had much to talk about that day. This is his family's estate and where his family convenes for reunions. He and his wife both have a spot reserved in the family cemetery at beautiful Monticello where Thomas Jefferson and his decedents are laid to rest.

After we met, I thought….wow!! An actual descendant of Thomas Jefferson, an American founding father who was the principal author of the Declaration of Independence and President from 1801 to 1809.

President Jefferson graduated from the College of William & Mary in Virginia. He had a brief law practice. Two years into his presidency, Jefferson convinced Congress to fund an expedition through the Louisiana territory to the Pacific Ocean. In 1803, Jefferson commissioned the Corps of Discovery, and named U.S. Army Captain Meriwether Lewis its leader. Lewis selected William Clark as second in command. We love the story of Lewis & Clark and have followed much of their travels in our own adventures to Montana, along the banks of the wide Missouri River.

Jefferson’s last days were at Monticello where he died on July 4, 1826. I thought this was almost like divine fate for a founding father to leave this earth on independence day. On our tour, we saw the very bed in which he drew his last breath.

We appreciate Jeff and Sarah placing their trust in our firm to sell their most valuable asset. While their past is written about and opined by countless historians all having their own biases, I honor them for their unique heritage. But the one thing I walked away with is despite the celebrity and fame of their past, these are two young people who I would call salt of the earth.

PS: If you haven’t visited Monticello….it's worth the trip!!