Five things can make a difference!

“The one who chooses to Love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday.” 

Gary Chapman

Gary, Karolyn, Liz and me

Scrolling through the net, I came upon this quote. Gary is a pastor at my church, a number 1 best-selling author and more importantly a friend.

In this quote, a couple of words really jumped out at me. The first word was “chooses”. Thinking about love; I went inward. There is no doubt that Elizabeth (my wife) chooses to love me. I am certain there are times I’m a very unlovable person. But because she makes that personal decision to love me, it causes me to love her even more. While Elizabeth in my eyes has very few flaws, I’ll go out on a limb and tell you that she isn’t perfect. But as I have gotten older, I have intentionally chosen to look inward when I see others flaws outwardly. It gives me pause to realize I am no perfect person. I have a lot of issues myself. The fact that Elizabeth “chooses” to love me causes my love “tank” to  get filled. Of all the people in the world for her to commit to, she chose me and chooses to continue loving me.

The other word that leaped off the page was “appropriate”. What are the appropriate ways to express love to your significant other. I’ll go back and use the word intention. Over our 28 years of marriage, I have intentionally made efforts to express my inner most feelings for Elizabeth. Using Gary’s book, The Five Love Languages, I attempted to discover her love language. Very quickly, I learned it wasn’t the same as mine. I also learned that offering that love language was not a special moment, but a lifestyle.-- I hope you get that. --In other words, it’s not about creating a special date night to where the moment gives cause for and isolated exchange of gifts, affirming words, held hands, acts of service or quality time. It’s about making Mondays as giving of yourself as Friday nights. And that’s when the word “everyday” leaped off the page to me. Don’t get me wrong, we love our special date nights!

Foggy day on the Sea of Galilee near Tiberus

Probably the greatest Christian witness for a person is marriage. It shows the world the most intimate  relationship, selflessness, commitment and union.  Marriage was created by God. His design where two people come together to become one. They are called to reflect what the bible calls a reflection of Christ and his bride the church. This simile to me is the most beautiful of all in the bible. In God’s creation of this union, the miracle of procreation can take place. It’s a walk together through economic good times and bad, healthiness and weakness, hard times and good times.

As with anything, a marriage produces dividends. They can be good and bad depending on how you have fertilized the relationship. Other than putting your spouse as number one on this earth, the witness that you are showing your children will pay huge dividends when they marry. And as a parent, I know you want nothing but the best for your children. It’s God’s natural order

So, consider Gary’s quote. “Choose”……”Appropriate love”……..”Everyday”.

As a consideration, shoot a text to your spouse….tell them what they mean to you. I predict you’ll love the reaction you get.