The incredible Science that makes us think

Having been involved in the pregnancy care centers for 17 years, I have seen a lot of changes. In 2000, I joined Salem Pregnancy Care Center board located in Winston Salem, NC. Motivated from the life experience of being married to an adopted child whose birth-mother was ministered to during her crisis pregnancy, it was my hopes in some small way to give back and just maybe help a mother who was considering an abortion and to help her rethink that decision.

There’s no question that when leadership in North Carolina passed the NC Woman’s Right to Know Act” (House Bill 854 / S.L. 2011-405), supporters of life were excited.  Like any divisive issue, it came with extensive criticism. The law was passed and went into effect in October 2011. The bill outlined several new guidelines which must be met and carried out before a woman can receive an abortion. It was originally vetoed by Governor Bev Perdue but the veto was overridden by the General Assembly. North Carolina was the third state to require a provider to place ultrasound images in a woman’s line of sight and to describe them in detail. Also, a woman must receive state-directed counseling that includes information about having an abortion, and then wait 72 hours before the procedure is performed. In North Carolina, an abortion may be performed at up to 20 weeks. Now, the

18 Weeks

parent of a minor must consent before an abortion is provided.

These facts are interesting and uncover a lot of insight into the legislative mindset of North Carolina law makers, but more importantly is the interesting shift that is taking place in the American mindset with regard to abortion.

But why?

I believe technology and medicine over the last 10 -15 years have created a narrative about the birth process that has undeniably caused even some of the most staunch supporters of choice,  to rethink exactly what it is that is being terminated and what exactly by means of aspiration deprivation is  being ended. Pictures and ultrasound imaging have provided the ability to show to the mother a beating heart; the incredible formation of life.  With these laws, it has slowed down the rush to abort and created a new education process that, whereby a  young woman can make an informed decision. The word “education” and “informed” I believe are key words. A decision to abort undeniably comes with consequences, both emotionally and physically. In our post political world of Roe vs Wade, words were crafted to mollify the harsh idea of abortion. The positive word “choice” became the outcry.

Despite the political positioning of this issue, I have a content heart knowing that I’ve been a voice for the human being who did not yet have a voice. You might call it an advocate for the unborn.

In case you were wondering… I’m not placing any judgement on post abortive females. In fact, Salem has a program called “Her Choice to Heal”. It is geared to help women who are post-abortive. They are offered love, support and guidance.

I’m confident many who read this will take issue to my position. However, when you are looking at the imagery of the womb created by the incredible technology of ultra-sounds, give pause for what this is…..life.

Revive Me Again

Saturday Night came on quickly with the hint of an autumn cold. I took 2 Nyquil cold pills and my eye lids suddenly became so heavy that I couldn’t lift them. Forgoing my nightly ritual, I woke up after 8 solid hours of sleep and realized that I did not plug in my iPhone. In today’s world, that’s like going to bed with your shoes on…. you just don’t forget something like that.

The coma-like sleep I enjoyed in actuality was an unintentional experiment.  You could call it a scientific procedure undertaken without intention, but with a new discovery demonstrating an unrealized fact.

So, here’s how the experiment took place. Before getting on the way to church this morning, I asked Siri what the weather would be. I looked at my phone and only had 12% of my battery left. I thought to myself, I’ll get 10% in the car on the way. By the time we left the driveway, I realized that the car charger was in another vehicle. I began to think…conservation!! On Sundays, I use my phone in Bible Fellowship and our church has an app that gives you the ability to digitally make your offering. I said to myself, “the smartphone is a spiritual necessity ;-)”. By the time Jerry Morrison, our teacher, began to teach, I had the urge to check my email, respond to a text and yes, check a Facebook push notification. By this point, I was down to 2%. Then….  black-screen. It was an emotional experience. I felt like the digital door had just shut. Darkness fell upon the face of my earth.  I looked at my neighbor who was following the Bible Fellowship teacher intently with his ancient calf-skin cover 1000-page bible. Ink marks were actually in the side notes of his bible; The book even had a silk-ribboned page marker.  At the same time, Jerry, the bible teacher said, what is it in your life that causes you to take focus off of Christ. I looked at my black screen and said “could there be a hypothesis that would suggest that the smartphone in fact causes a person to take focus off of what or who you should be paying attention to?  Unfortunately, like sin nature, suddenly, I was thinking… “could someone be trying to text me”, “could someone be sending me an email”, “where can I find a charger”?  Then in that moment of self-reflection, it came upon me and I raised my hand. I confessed, our smartphones have the ability to take our focus off of Christ. Not just that, they can take your focus off of family and friends.  Elizabeth (My wife) has demonstrated frustration with me in the car when she is driving with my preoccupation to Facebook, audio book, and text messages.

On the way home, after placing a “thermometer” in my heart, I realized my issue was “digital addictiveness.”. It came on slowly without realizing I was infected.  

I think the point in this blog is to suggest we all become aware of what technology has created within our interpersonal relationships. Emotional multi-tasking with your phone typically will create a less than authentic conversation with whom you are in front of.  With intention, I am going to try to refocus my attention.

In all candor, I’m not turning my phone off. I’m not going to quit accepting and sending text messages, heck, I’m not even going to quit Facebook, but in light of this experiment, I am going to intentionally reconsider effective time management of accepting and giving text, IMs and other push notification.  I’m going to try to be a little more aware of this digital phenomenon that our technology culture has created.  

So like Christ who raised Lazarus from the grave, I'm going to try to bring back to life the idea of completely being there.  Revive me again! 
PS: If my buddy in Montana reads this...I know, you and L have preached this to me before. 

Five things can make a difference!

“The one who chooses to Love will find appropriate ways to express that decision everyday.” 

Gary Chapman

Gary, Karolyn, Liz and me

Scrolling through the net, I came upon this quote. Gary is a pastor at my church, a number 1 best-selling author and more importantly a friend.

In this quote, a couple of words really jumped out at me. The first word was “chooses”. Thinking about love; I went inward. There is no doubt that Elizabeth (my wife) chooses to love me. I am certain there are times I’m a very unlovable person. But because she makes that personal decision to love me, it causes me to love her even more. While Elizabeth in my eyes has very few flaws, I’ll go out on a limb and tell you that she isn’t perfect. But as I have gotten older, I have intentionally chosen to look inward when I see others flaws outwardly. It gives me pause to realize I am no perfect person. I have a lot of issues myself. The fact that Elizabeth “chooses” to love me causes my love “tank” to  get filled. Of all the people in the world for her to commit to, she chose me and chooses to continue loving me.

The other word that leaped off the page was “appropriate”. What are the appropriate ways to express love to your significant other. I’ll go back and use the word intention. Over our 28 years of marriage, I have intentionally made efforts to express my inner most feelings for Elizabeth. Using Gary’s book, The Five Love Languages, I attempted to discover her love language. Very quickly, I learned it wasn’t the same as mine. I also learned that offering that love language was not a special moment, but a lifestyle.-- I hope you get that. --In other words, it’s not about creating a special date night to where the moment gives cause for and isolated exchange of gifts, affirming words, held hands, acts of service or quality time. It’s about making Mondays as giving of yourself as Friday nights. And that’s when the word “everyday” leaped off the page to me. Don’t get me wrong, we love our special date nights!

Foggy day on the Sea of Galilee near Tiberus

Probably the greatest Christian witness for a person is marriage. It shows the world the most intimate  relationship, selflessness, commitment and union.  Marriage was created by God. His design where two people come together to become one. They are called to reflect what the bible calls a reflection of Christ and his bride the church. This simile to me is the most beautiful of all in the bible. In God’s creation of this union, the miracle of procreation can take place. It’s a walk together through economic good times and bad, healthiness and weakness, hard times and good times.

As with anything, a marriage produces dividends. They can be good and bad depending on how you have fertilized the relationship. Other than putting your spouse as number one on this earth, the witness that you are showing your children will pay huge dividends when they marry. And as a parent, I know you want nothing but the best for your children. It’s God’s natural order

So, consider Gary’s quote. “Choose”……”Appropriate love”……..”Everyday”.

As a consideration, shoot a text to your spouse….tell them what they mean to you. I predict you’ll love the reaction you get.

It couldn't have happened to me!

It couldn’t be me? Grant it, I’m middle age, but how could this have happen to me.

Coming to terms with the aging process can really frustrate a young minded middle age guy (notice my description of self). Although I could stand to lose 15 pounds, I have always been health conscience attempting to stay active. I’ve considered myself very healthy.

Over the last few years, Elizabeth and I have argued about very little. However, when we get in front of the TV, we played tug-a-war with the volume. I wanted it on 18, she wanted it on 10. For a long time, I thought it was just a gender thing. Later, I began struggling in group settings hearing people I would be having a conversation with. Then, embarrassed, people would speak to me and I would simply nod my head to acknowledge them. They could have been asking me a question, they could have told me they thought I was stupid….I’d just grin and try to change the subject to “it’s a great day”. It honestly became uncomfortable.

A few Sunday’s ago, I had a friend come to me and say “Kyle, did you not hear me hollering for you this morning?” I said “no”.  The time had come for me to have a hearing exam. But before I called the doctor, I ask this close friend, an attractive lady who happens to have hearing aids, to give me the scoop. When I called her, she said it would be a “game changer”. She suggested that it would change my quality of life. I was thinking… “are you serious?”

So, because I have faith in my friend, I called Dr. Scott Mills, an audiologist with Carolina Hearing Doctors. When the lady called me back, Dr. Mills asked me a series of questions. 15 minutes later he took me to a glass room and sat outside behind me asking me to press a button when I hear certain sounds. By the end of the hour-long meeting, he diagnosed me. In fact, I do have hearing loss; in both ears. He asked me about sounds…what could have caused this issue.  Like talking to a priest in a confessional box, I admitted to hard rock, shotguns and diesel engines. Years of rocking in my vehicle, killing ducks in cold duck blinds and running the bush hog caused me to lose my hearing. Heredity possibly caused some of the problem too.

So, he ordered me a set of hearing aids. Anxiously I waited one week. Treating me like her little baby, Elizabeth came to the fitting. Packaged like an iPhone, Dr. Mills unpackaged these new hearing devices. I was wondering deep in my heart, “would these things make any difference?”  So, he placed them in my ears and said, “can you hear better”. I said “No”, he said “good, I have them turned off”. Them with the press of a button, he turned them on. Have you ever had an AHA moment?  Wow! Instantly, I could hear things. He and his staff explained how they worked, and off I went.

Since that fitting, I have heard the blinker on the car, I have heard birds that I have missed. I now want the tv on about 10. Funny thing now is that I ask Elizabeth to lower her voice.

I came to terms with this issue of middle age called hearing loss. Rather than being frustrated with what I can’t change, I hit it head on. I can honestly say this has been one of the best decisions I’ve made in some time.

God where are you?

I purchased my NASA approved eclipse glasses on Amazon. As they promised,  they were delivered within two days. As with half the population within 100 miles of either side of the totality line, our office waited in great expectation.

When the time came, sporting my safety glasses, I looked up into the heavens. The picture that I saw was amazing. It spoke to me of heaven itself.

Years ago, King David wrote, "The heavens declare the glory of God; and their expanse shows the work of his hands."

Obviously, I don't look into the eye of the sun on a regular basis. But with these powerful shades, for just a moment I could see the sun and moon perfectly pair with each other. I said to myself, this didn't happen by accident. How could it? I looked up and beheld the majesty of an almighty creator.

If you're a person who is skeptical about this God thing, think about yesterday. Think about the chances of this happening. It couldn't have happen without an intelligent creator. The way I see it is God is not giving you any excuses to wonder. The writer in the New Testament book, Romans says "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood from His workmanship, so that men are without excuse".

Sunset after the eclipse

Yesterday, He was clearly seen. I thought about it all afternoon and even now. Even as I watched the sunset, the silence was screaming to me "I AM GOD".

I hope you will use this solar eclipse event to
create, ponder, or restore your faith in an Almighty God. If he can lineup the planets, just think what he can do in your life.

So as to the question, "God, where are you". I hope you get it. :-)

A handshake means something.

Wrong

Today, I reached out and offered a handshake to a young millennial. Don't think I'm picking on that age group, that's just what he was. He's not a friend of mine on social media, so he probably won't read this blog...but if so...good.

I remember my dad telling me as a young man, "offer a tight squeeze, and look the person in the eye".  This young man didn't attend the Jerry Swicegood School of Handshakes. I honestly felt like I was holding the hand of a corpse. It was limp and lethargic. If the hand had a personality, I would have called it melancholy.

A short search on google identifies that the custom of handshakes started in the medieval times. As dangerous as those times were, it was important to demonstrate that you weren't carrying a weapon. Later it became a customary way for a gentleman to politely greet one another. Then it was a demonstration of a bond, an agreement. Today it is gender neutral.

Right

In 2017, I don't think that "bond or agreement" would hold up in court, but I am certain it is a polite way to greet someone and demonstrate the emotion for which  you have in meeting someone. The eye contact part of that exchange is to authenticate your sincerity in the meeting of a person. I think we have all seen someone with shifty eyes. It makes us uncomfortable.

I say all that to say this: we all want to be received as credible and authentic. Whether its in business or in social settings. Consider your handshake and eye contact. If its difficult, break through the fear because the dividends it will pay in the minds of the people that meet you is in-calculable.

Preparation for Town Management & Business Ownership

Who would have thought in 1983 that my friend, Lee would be an executive manager of a successful town and I'd would have owned a business for 28 years. 

We had just turned 16. We were idealistic young "bens" (boys trying to be men). School had just let out. For 9 months Lee was an experimental driver; one might call him a novice. Me on the other hand, I had only had my license for three months. But like most "country boys" we both had been driving the back roads since we were 13, praying we wouldn't get caught. I had a jack-up, large tired, roll-bar pick up strewn with KC 1,000,000 power spot lights. I considered myself a sophisticated redneck.

For months we had been dreaming about heading to the mountains.  Camping, experiencing nature as two independent men (or so we thought). So the week after school was released, we loaded up the bed of the truck with sleeping bags, lounge chairs, coolers, flashlights, food, a tarp and rope. Basically everything but a tent. Decidedly, we wanted to rough it. 

Cades Cove

In that day, 16 offered a little more confidence from parents. They endorsed our trip.

So with about $75 in our pockets each, we set out for Cades Cove, Tennessee. We made our way through Asheville and detoured through Cherokee. Winding our way up the mountain, we turned  at the Sugarland visitors center and headed along the Little River to the primitive camp ground and 11 mile loop road called Cades Cove.

Cades Cove, a valley surrounded by the tall green canopied Appalachian mountains is a popular destination in the Great Smoky Mountains.  Its a broad, verdant valley surrounded by mountains and is one of the most popular destinations in the Great Smokies. The 11 mile loop road offers some of the best opportunities for wildlife viewing in the park. On any given morning or afternoon, you can see large numbers of white tail, the occasional black bear, and smaller animals like coyote, ground hog, turkey, raccoon and skunk.

So when we arrived, we set up and organized our campsite. Using the tarp and the rope, we created our lien too shelter. Open air on the front and sides, it was our hope to protect us  from potential rain and morning dew. 1 out of two wasn't bad. It never rained while we were there. Roughing it meant sleeping bags, but we brought with us certain evidence of the city. We had two lounge chairs that folded out into a layout recliner. I'm certain my mother turn a few shades of tan laying in this orange poolside recliner over the past, but for now, it was supporting the comforts of my sleeping bag. Lee had a similar night-time heavenly rest.

The days were filled with exploring, sight seeing and wildlife appreciation. Despite our age, our personal wildlife was fairly tame as we were quite honestly two fairly innocent kids. I'd love to tell you that we created magnificent meals on an open fire, but our most impressive protein was a tube steak packaged by Oscar Meyer and our sweet course typically was a honey bun. I should include that our midday snacks were salted peanut butter crackers prepared by Lance. 

The test of friendship came one afternoon when we decided to visit the populated area called the Y. This was a rocky beach at the confluence of The Little River and West Prong Little River. As we had driven by earlier, it was populated by beach dwellers. They happened to be dressed as though they were at Myrtle Beach, so you can imagine the minds of two 16 year olds. So with our packed lounge chairs, we showed up at the beach. Both of us fair skinned from a winter and spring of long pants, we rested the legs of our beds in the water. Lee, the more righteous of the two of us, laid down and fell asleep. Me, on the other hand, felt the need to do a little reconnaissance. I was curious if any of these pretty young ladies were the welcome wagon for the Great Smokey Mountains. After about thirty minutes or so of talking with some of the locals, realizing that I wasn't interested in their Appalachia  demeanor, I made my skinny 125 pound way back to Lee. I'm certain he was dreaming about pretty girls, the mountain men that we were (or thought) and simply getting rest considering our taxing schedule we had created 

I'm not sure what got over me; was it the devil, was it mischief, or did I think Lee was overheating from the Tennessee hot sun. I had a plastic cup that had been filled with Cheerwine (Yes, no beer. We never drank the first sip of alcohol on this trip), I dipped it into the cold cold waters of the union created by the two rivers, and decided to give Lee a Methodist baptism, a sprinkling of water, however not on the head, but on the sunbaked belly of my good friend. I really don't remember anything about his response with the exception of the look on his face, and the fact that he turned over my lounge chair. I do remember laughing at myself and him. That caused the situation to get even worse. As the water cooled down his belly, time caused the situation to cool down. I think the only unholy words used on that trip was him calling me a Jackass. I guess the shoe fit.

We left our mark on Cades Cove and decided to drive through Gatlinburg to get to I-40. While we both thought we were sophisticated rednecks, we were able to see the real definition of rednecks in this narrow gap in the mountains. It was a Sunday, and probably out of obligation rather than reverence, we decided to attend the Gatlinburg Church of Christ.  Worn out, I quietly told Lee, "if i begin to fall asleep during the sermon, give me a nudge". During the singing my soul was stimulated enough to keep awake. However during the opening prayer, I caught myself nodding. When the preacher began speaking, I knew this was going to be challenging as his presentation was melancholy. Sure enough, about 5 minute into his sermon, my head felt like 50 pounds and I began to dose. Lee, a rule follower, gently shook my shoulder and like a car wreck with whiplash, my head came up. this happened about four times in the next 15 minutes, and finally with the same look that Lee had at the river, I said "leave me alone". The invitation song woke me up. 

We risked the norm that day by wearing shorts to church. In that day, casual and church was like 13 year olds and cigarettes. they didn't go. But we did that and was accepted. When we finally got to I-40 with the 3 hour ride ahead of us, Lee had this great idea. Since he didn't sleep through church, he decided to unfold his lounge chair and place it in the back of the truck. He must have looked great. Along with the roll bars and lights, I had a small rebel flag hanging on one side of the roll bar and an American flag on the other. Like Gettysburg must have been on July1-3 of 1863, Lee was lying between two opposing flag. He was not going to be fighting the blue or the gray, He was going to be fighting the sun. By the time we crossed into North Carolina, Lee was sound asleep. Having gotten my rest in church I was wide awake listening to Elvis Presley's American Trilogy. With a tank full of gas. I didn't stop until we were near hickory, when Lee and I both were not only awake but hungry, Lee rose from his reclined position, hopped off the tailgate of the truck and I saw something amazing. Lee's arms and legs were no longer fair skinned. In fact, they matched the color of red found on the American flag and rebel flag. He was burnt to a crisp. 

That trip was one of those monumental experiences from being a child to becoming  a man. We learned to cook, make up our bed, get along, handle conflict management, and the important use of sunscreen. Its a great memory. We rolled back into Mocksville with about $5 each in our pockets

I occasionally show up at Cades Cove. I still enjoy the scenery and always ride the 11 mile loop road to see the animals. As I cross the Y and look at the rocky beach, I always remember the spot where I almost got my neck broke (by Lee), and I am thankful for a friendship that has lasted since the 1st grade.

 .